The Wolf Who Cried Fox

So, one day in Kansas, we were going about our daily lives, and Audrey decided to say, "What, like the boy who cried wolf?" Unfortunely, she couldn't quite remember how the story went, so what actually came out of her mouth was, "What, like the wolf who cried fox?" Now I just couln't let a title like that go uncapitalized upon, so a day or two later, I sat down and coined tale (boy is that a weird expression. Coined the tale? So you mint coins and coin stories. We who were blessed never to have to learn English should be on our hands and knees thanking God every day) of the wolf who cried fox:

The Wolf Who Cried Fox

Now gather around and you’ll hear talk
Of the young gray wolf who went for a walk.
He saw something move in a field of straw
and turned and ran back, to tell what he saw.

“Fox! Fox! I saw a fox!
heading through the field and into the rocks.
it’ll raid our dens and burn our crops!”

“A fox around here? Not on my hide!”
said a wise old wolf standing off to the side.
We drove them all off, and not since that day
have we seen even one in the straw or the hay.
Now run on off, don’t tell any lies,
it was your imagination, a trick of the eyes.”

The young wolf ran off, they were probably right,
the sun was going down, and with it the light.
in just a few minutes, it would be night.
it was hard to see, even with his sharp sight.

But just as he thought that, he saw it once more.
A sleek orange body. Then another! Three! Four!
The young wolf turned and ran back to the rest
This time he knew for sure, it was no jest.
Huffing and puffing, he was soon back
to report what he saw to the rest of the pack.

“Foxes! Foxes! I saw some foxes!
Coming with mouths full of teeth sharp as axes!”

“So maybe you’re right, for all we know.”
said an old scraggly wolf with a voice rough and low,
“but why should we worry, and make such a fuss,
because a couple lost travelers came too close to us?
This wolf lacks experience, and surely do they,
they should have known better than to come by this way,
but a simple mistake by some pups on the run
gives us no reason to take action, none!”

The young wolf walked off, his head to the ground.
He was almost to his den, when he heard a faint sound.
He crouched and listened and looked into the dark,
then heard the unmistakable sound of a bark.
A fox sprang towards him with more coming behind,
but the wolf got away, with one thing on his mind.
“I must warn the others, before it’s too late.
The speed of my message will determine our fate!”

He crashed through the woods, all the while yelping,
“Foxes! Foxes! The foxes are coming!”
He burst through some bushes and into a clearing,
but all of the wolves just kept on their jeering,
“When will you learn?” said one, looking stern.
“It’s true!” said the wolf, “They really are coming.
Now get ready to fight, before they return!”

No sooner had he finished when the foxes burst in,
attacking with swiftness while baring a grin.
In no time at all, the skirmish was done.
The wolves were all scattered, the foxes had won.

So what is the moral? What can be learned
from this short little story of the wolf who was spurned?
No matter the status, or influence possessed,
anyone might know something crucial for the rest.
Taking someone’s advice, even if you’re their master,
might help you avoid a great disaster.

-Ben Herr


Unexpected Evening Plans

Once upon a time there was a freezer that was full of 100 pounds of donated hamburger. And then, it came to supper time one night, when Audrey was going to make a delicious meal, featuring the aforementioned hamburger.

As she opened the freezer, she noticed it... Blood. An odor. Then, Audrey turned dramatic. No, it was not a murder. It was something worse....

The freezer had shut off. So, she called 911 (aka her mom). "Is it possible to rescue hamburger, Mommy?!"* Mommy replied: "I don't know." 911 failed.

Audrey turned to the second best 911-- Google. Google told her that if hamburger is brought to 160 degrees (Fahrenheit) it is perfectly safe. 911 #1 then called back and said that hamburger can be browned in the oven, as well as on the stove.

So, on with the apron, and off with Audrey's fear of raw, red, bloody meat.

With Erica as back-up, the next two hours were spent browning around 60 pounds of hamburger, and re-bagging around 30 pounds.

Now, we have browned meat for at least 1 re-entry. Sorry July- you get sausage!!!**

*Audrey never calls her mom "Mommy." That was for dramatic effect.

**Stefan will also be eating sausage all throughout May.